Last night I had watched MTV's new show "If You Really Knew Me". It was really moving to see kids in high school willing to open up to each other and share who they truly are deep inside. Well, it got me thinking and I wanted to write a blog post related to this. So here it goes.
If you really knew me, you'd know that...
... ever since I was little I felt like I was an out cast. Not only at school, but within my own family as well. And as I've grown older I feel like I'm drifting farther and father apart from everyone. I'm always left out on family trips to the coast, outtings with the cousins, and even simple family dinners. I know a lot of it has to do with me being pregnant and I can't drink, but who says you need to drink to have a good time? Oh, wait...my family. And since I don't consume alcohol, pregnant or not, I feel as if I'll never be excepted by them.
If you really knew me, you'd know that...
... ever since my brother's fiance started coming around more and more I feel as if I'm no longer a daughter to my parents. When my parents were planning their 25th Anniversary Renewal, never once did my mom ask me for advice on anything. She always went to her. But what killed me the most was my own father didn't even ask me to dance, he danced with her a couple of times, even to father-daughter songs but never once asked me... He'll even give her hugs and always asks her how she is doing but completely ignores me when I walk through the door. I just wish I knew what it was like to have a father...
If you really knew me, you'd know that...
... after I had my accident last April, I secretly wished that my car did go off the bridge instead of slamming back into the center rail. At that time in my life nothing was going right. Everything was just piling up on top of each other and I just couldn't handle it any more.
If you really knew me, you'd know that...
... if it wasn't for Joel, I would probably be six feet under by now. I owe my life to that man. Not only is he my husband, and not only is he the father of my child, but he has become my best friend, my everything. I'm so grateful that I met him all those years ago. I love him with all my heart, and I don't think he truly knows that. But he will.
i can completely relate to u on every single level of ur honesty, minus the pregnant and married part lol. soon u will have ur little one and u will be able to create the kind of family u always wanted. and i think u should talk to ur mom about how u feel. i dont think she is doing it intentionally. hang in there girl if u need someone to talk to im here :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you feel that way
ReplyDeleteWhy do you feel like you have no friends?
ReplyDelete